Becoming an Empathetic Leader
How executive coaching helped CEO Sasa Montaño enhance her strengths, embrace vulnerability, and become a champion for her employeesâ career growth and development.
âI always pictured myself as an empathetic person. I realized that I showed my empathy intellectually, but I wasnât really vulnerable enough as a person to those around me. I didnât see being vulnerable as a strength or as a positive thing for my staff. Emily helped me change that perspective.â
 â Sasa Montaño, CEO Meals on Wheels Mercer County All The Tools You Need To Build A Successful Online Business
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Background
Sasa has been the CEO of the nonprofit Meals on Wheels in Mercer County for almost eight years. With only five full-time and two part-time employees, they served close to 110,000 meals in 2020, up from about 85,000 in previous years, as the need for their services grew during the pandemic.
Meals on Wheels is Sasaâs second time as a CEO in the nonprofit space. She has also held leadership positions in the education and government sectors after being thrust into high-level management at a relatively young age.
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âIâm passionate about our mission, so I love my job. But what I really love about being a CEO of a nonprofit is that you can create positions, make changes when needed, and respond to community and staff needs. Itâs just a fantastic role. I love it.â
Sasaâs past leadership roles gave her the skills to transform struggling companies but not all the skills needed to maintain a thriving one.
âI did a lot of self-growth programs and certificates early on in my career, but I would say for a good 15 to 18 years, I didnât have the opportunity to invest in my growth as a leader. If you work for a nonprofit, there arenât always a lot of resources to put toward staff growth.â
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âOnce youâve reached CEO, people expect that you already know everything.â
âThose previous companies hired me for a very specific task. I achieved the task, and then I left. That was my skill setâthe one-woman show. I would get to a place, clean up, start up, whatever it was, and leave it better than when I got there but never reap the fruits of my labor.â
Upon arriving at Meals on Wheels, Sasa used that same skill set in the first few years of her role to make significant improvements in the company. Except for this time, she didnât leave once she completed that part of the job. She loved the company and didnât want to start all over again. So Sasa made the conscious decision to stay.
Soon Sasa realized that maintaining a thriving company requires skills that are much different than those she used in her get-in-get-out crisis-resolution roles.
âOnly in the last four years with this company have I had the opportunity to strengthen other skills I either didnât realize that I had or that I needed to improve. I wanted to be a better leader. I am all about self-growth, but I hadnât had the opportunity to develop myself and evolve as a leader for a very long time.â
The opportunity to obtain that help came as a blessing in disguise.
âWe had some issues in the office that, while at the time seemed unfair, made me recognize I had lessons to learn and growing that I needed to do.â
When an employee reached out to Sasaâs board with their concerns about the company, the board had to act. At that time, the board, who knew and trusted Sasa for seven successful years, offered Sasa an executive coach.
âThey knew who I was, so they offered me coaching. So, of course, why would I turn away an opportunity to have executive coaching and improve my leadership skills? I welcomed it. I was so grateful.â
The board provided Sasa the option to select from three coaches. She interviewed them all and quickly decided Emily Golden was the one.
âI couldnât fully express my empathy in those other companies where I was going in and solving problems or launching programs, and I held on to that mindset after I transitioned into my longer-term role. I needed someone to help me evolve the skills that the company required at this time.â
Expressing vulnerability was the key that unlocked Sasaâs empathetic strength as a leader.
Sasa worked with Emily every other week over six months, focusing on practical actions that Sasa could implement immediately.
âI asked Emily to be very tactical, so she gave me specific goals each time we met. I wanted to be able to focus on a deliverable every session.â
âEach session included exercises around broader issues and time for me to bring up situations with my staff. We discussed how I could take the things I was learning and implement them day to day in my role.â
Sasa initially thought Emilyâs coaching would focus on improving and toning down certain behaviors. However, instead of focusing on the negative, they worked to develop Sasaâs overall strength as a leader.
âIt was my own journey of self-discovery, but one that Emily directed me and supported me in. I was ready. Iâm always open to learning something about myself and growing as a person. But no one had given me the opportunity to develop in this particular realm of leadership skills in a very long time.â
âEmily always made it very clear that she was there as the guide, but I had to do it. It was my work to do.â
One of Emilyâs tools that provided Sasa incredible insight was the EQi 2.0, an emotional intelligence assessment. Sasa was surprised to discover that she rated very low on empathy.Â
âI consider myself a very empathetic person, but clearly, I was not coming across that way to my staff. That tool identified my specific strengths and challenges, and then Emily helped me figure out tactical ways to improve them.â
âThe realization that I wasnât expressing my empathy unlocked everything else. It really was an âahaâ moment because that seemed such the antithesis of not only me as a person but of the sector that Iâm in. Iâm in the nonprofit social service world, helping people. So how could I be missing that skill? What happened there?â
As Emily explored this with Sasa, they discovered vulnerability wasnât something Sasa had expressed in her previous leadership roles. Moving into management in male-dominated fields at a young age meant Sasa had to fight for her place constantly; showing any shred of vulnerability wasnât an option.
To embrace her empathic nature as a leader, Sasa had to tap into the vulnerability she feared would be perceived as a weakness.
âI always pictured myself as an empathetic person. I realized that I showed my empathy intellectually, but I wasnât really vulnerable enough as a person to those around me. I didnât see being vulnerable as a strength or as a positive thing for my staff. Emily helped me change that perspective.â
Sasaâs evolution as a leader means developing her staff to create a strong and long-lasting company.
âI would always say to my staff, âIâm here to support you. Iâm here to make your life easier.â But now I live that. I feel that every single day. I have the most incredible staff. Emily helped me with a lot of my ability to grow them and focus on their needs, partly by helping me become secure in my own leadership.â
Sasa finally feels like she doesnât have to prove anything anymore. She gets to go along for the ride, supporting her staff and being their cheerleader. Sasa provides vision, direction, and support, but her role as a leader is ultimately about them. This new mindset has allowed her to look toward retirement, succession planning, and creating a company that will continue to grow after sheâs gone.
âIntellectually, Iâve always known that continuity beyond myself was important, but I never felt it until now. Now I really feel what that means.â
âIn just six months of coaching, Emily helped me transform my leadership and how much I now focus my efforts on my staff.â âEmily gave me the ability to step out of myself and truly be empathetic for my employees, to understand where they are, and to see that as a strength. My development has allowed my employees to grow.ââThe time that I set aside to focus on myself and my leadership skills was so valuable that I want that for everyone. And now that Iâve worked with Emily, I want others to be able to work with her too because sheâs just so wonderful. So I recently brought her into my company to do some leadership training, and I will be bringing her back to do the EQi 2.0 assessment with my staff.â
âIn the sectors, Iâve worked in, there havenât been many opportunities to develop staff. Now, because I had the opportunity to evaluate my leadership and grow my skills, I want to do the same thing for my employees. Iâm just so grateful I had that opportunity and even more thankful that it was with Emily.â
âWas investing in Emily worth it? Absolutely. Would I have invested in coaching myself if the company didnât? Iâm a nonprofit director. I donât make a lot of money, so that sort of investment isnât usually an option. But if I had known at the outset what I know now, I would have. Definitely!â
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